Marita 68 years
Palvelu- tai senioritalo, Uusimaa
Daily life
My daily activities vary. Sometimes I care for and water my flowers. I also do handicrafts, knit socks. I do as much as I have the energy for. Once a week, or once every two weeks, I clean my home. I hoover and mop the floors and clean the toilet, but luckily I get help from the staff for this. I also wash my own dishes that I produce in the flat. On Thursdays I have a laundry day, on which I do my clothes in the group home’s laundry room. I used to cook meals in my flat, because I have my own kitchen here. Recently I haven’t done any cooking. I haven't been active enough lately to cook my own meals. Although when my grandchild came for a visit, we cooked frozen pizza in that oven. And we made a savoury pie with one of the carers last autumn. I've also made pancakes. Easy recipes. My daily activities create a rhythm for my life, it's nice to have things to do. Sometimes I'm tired, and I’m in the habit of lying down for half an hour sometimes. The doctor even told me that I should rest my legs at times because I have a bit of swelling.
Everyday highlights and good daily life
The meals are the highlights of daily life for me. It’s part of good everyday life that people are friends here. And it’s also good that they are flexible about the activities. They do not force you to do things when you’re not up to it. You get to rest. I also like to go out, and now that summer is coming, it will be easier to go out with that walking frame. I’m a great lover of nature. Summer is the highlight of the year for me. Because of my illnesses, it's good to get fresh air sometimes.
Everyday autonomy, home and comfort of living
I’m currently living alone in a rental studio flat of 40 square metres. This flat is part of a communal housing facility, a group home. I have lived in this sheltered housing unit for four years, of which two years in this flat. I've been thinking about moving into a flat of my own. I've been away from my flat for ten years, they got rid of it when I had to go to a psychiatric hospital. But I wonder if I could manage there after all. I had no problems with the neighbours in the previous place. And I’ve got so used to living here. The staff are always there to support you. Somehow I've got used to the rhythms of this place as they take such good care of me. If I lived in my own flat, some home help would probably also visit me there. However, it would not be the same as living here. I've become good friends with a lady next door. She comes here in the evenings and we have coffee together. I feel at home here.
However, I have illnesses that stop me from doing things I would like to do. Diabetes has affected my legs, I cannot move and go out as much as I would like. I have been told that my age prevents me from doing things. But sometimes I feel like a 15-year-old, and in my opinion, it’s my health that prevents me from doing things more than anything else. Sometimes I’m also too tired to do anything.
Things that make daily life easier, joys and interests
I have a new computer that makes my daily life easier. I have six grandchildren. I’m planning to learn to keep in touch with them with my computer. The computer also gives me access to my health information. Sometimes when I have an epicrisis, although I have not had any recently, I can find out more about my health with the computer. Last week, a carer helped me to get online banking IDs so that I can access OmaKanta.
In my daily life, I am of course interested in that new computer. And then handicrafts and housekeeping. I was already a home bird when I was younger. I enjoyed staying at home with the children. You do feel at home when you can decorate your place to your liking. My home gives me joy and pleasure. And my grandchildren. And knowing that they are doing well in their lives. And my children, of course. And that they would be in good health.
Everyday worries, safety and loneliness
In addition to my health, other everyday worries include going to the dining hall as some people fight there. And use bad language. That makes me feel anxious. I’m also anxious about all those wars. I don't watch the news very often, I only do it every once in a while. And then there are all those pandemics and others that we have had here in Finland, too. It would be nice to have a conversation and eat quietly in the dining room, that would be really wonderful.
I feel lonely, however. Even if the lady next door comes to have coffee with me. When I feel lonely, I pick up my knitting or turn the radio on. That helps to pass the time. And then I look at the clock to see if it’s time for the next meal. I also make my bed. I start doing something, it helps. And I sometimes call my grandchildren. My youngest child also calls me every once in a while. I feel safe in spite of everything. I do not feel terribly lonely every day, only sometimes. We are all alone in this world, anyway, we are born alone and we leave the world alone. I don't have the energy to spend time with everyone. This is a communal way of living. You go completely mad if you just sit alone in a room or flat for weeks or months.
Services and mobility
I went to a handicrafts group that was some distance away, but I stopped because we only had an hour. It was only enough time to knit a few rows. I also take part in chair yoga and karaoke in this house once a week. I’m not brave enough to sing into the microphone but I sing with the others. I use a travel service to go shopping and use services with an instructor. I do my shopping in the shopping centre and then visit the ATM if I need cash. A nurse from the Pulmonary Clinic visits me here at home, most recently last week she brought me a new mask and straps for the CPAP machine. I call her myself if I need to, for example if I need a new mask. But she comes here three times a year for a follow-up visit and checks the machine, making sure that the filters have been replaced.
It annoys me a bit that my children and grandchildren have not invited me, even if I could use the travel service to visit them. Although there is a lady I got to know in the psychiatric hospital some five years ago when we shared a room. She visited me in the place I used to live. But now she came on my name day in March. She invited me for a visit when the weather gets warmer. That makes it easier to go about with the walking frame. In summer I will use the travel service to visit her. She lives in the same city. I'm a little nervous because I haven't visited anyone for ten years.
Use of digital devices
I have a smartphone but I cannot get online with it. My guardian has now promised that I can get online banking IDs. I also have that new computer and television. In the kitchen I have a safety cooker. When that red light is on, I must press the special buttons and turn it on. Not just anybody can turn it on, and that’s a good job. The coffee maker also turns itself off. That’s good, too.
I think technological advancement is a good thing. I was a data entry clerk in a bank myself. I have always been in favour of advancement. People need to make some progress. The computer makes it possible for me to communicate with my loved ones and access information about my health online.
Important people
My important people include the other residents here and the staff, and my children and grandchildren. And then I have this friend I met at the psychiatric hospital. When I was younger, I went out for eight years with a man who was from another part of Finland. His stepsister and sister have been great friends in my life. We still keep in touch. I have a card they sent here on the wall, today has been a good day. In the evenings I look at that card. I talked on the phone with one of them on the May Day. One of them is turning 80, you'd never believe it. She is really youthful. Once I called her and said hello, this is a crazy person calling from the madhouse. She replied, here’s another one. These are the kind of jokes we share. Sometimes I feel I don't have the energy to keep in touch, but if I don't hear from them for a while, I call them and ask if everything's okay.
Turning points of life and their impact
I have had a good few. The best time was when the children were born. And I married the wrong man. I had to take responsibility for the family alone for twelve years. For twelve years, he was psychologically and physically violent. I could not get away from him. That was the start of my so-called mental illness. I tried to commit suicide seven times.
To get away from my husband, I escaped to a psychiatric hospital 33 times. I was in treatment 33 times. I actually became really ill in 1985. I had hallucinations. Small policemen who came in through the kitchen fan hit me on the shoulder with their batons. And this goes back to my childhood. The times I called the police to my home because my father was violent towards my mother.
I married my husband because I was pregnant. Later I felt that everyone turned their backs on me. I think they were a little scared of my husband. That’s what life is like sometimes. When there's a bad crisis, you see who your real friends are.
I have been really poorly. And then I met this man who came from another part of Finland. And my grandchild was born. Light came into my life from both directions. Now I no longer have despairing thoughts. They pass quickly. Now I’m able to process things differently. I am on good terms with my children, they have never blamed me. One of them calls me mum, the other mother. Everything is really well at the moment. I’ve had a lot to cope with, but my mother had even more. I've lived through those things, and I won't relive them again. This is the life I live now. Being free from intoxicants has helped me. I have not used alcohol for 20 years, and I have gone eight years without smoking. Getting rid of intoxicants has given me strength. This is something else I can give to others, my grandchildren and others. When you’re OK yourself, you also have something to give to others. I am no longer bitter, it is too exhausting.
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